it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
