She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
