she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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