The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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