I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize