omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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