the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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