Girls should come with a carfax report
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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