We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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