"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
smell my finger.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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