we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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