I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
