Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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