The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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