I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize