I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
