the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
