It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
