In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
