Got a toothbrush?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
