I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
