Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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