you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
