I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize