I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
