so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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