Screwed.edu
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
