Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
