just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
