i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
