whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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