Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
