its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
