Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
