She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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