We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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