Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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