One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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