Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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