as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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