Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
