Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she peed on how many people?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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