I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
