Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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