Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize