Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
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The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
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I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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