So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize