Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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