I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
