So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
