Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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