I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
