This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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