somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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