After last night, I could never be a politician.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
