Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
