My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she peed on how many people?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
