he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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