...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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