You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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