Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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