well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been