Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.