I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
