Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
