I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
