I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
